That time I theologically failed my children on Easter and the resources I leaned on to “remedy it” (read: make myself feel better).
There we were, myself and three kiddos, ready to cram into the car to run an insane amount of errands… the set up for loads of fun and productive conversations, am I right!?
As usually happens when a holiday looms on the horizon, my 4 yo needs to verbally process the schedule…. often. It’s an endeavor that usually requires a lot of time and more than a little patience while he tries to grapple with the difference between tomorrow and yesterday and all of his very real emotions in relation to.
As we talk, he remarks, “and after that, its Real Easter Day!” which I’ve been taking to mean as his way of delineating all miscellaneous Easter celebrations versus the ACTUAL Easter holiday… but, as you’ll see, I could be wrong.
The parenting fail…
In my clarifying responses about schedules, I posed the quintessential Easter parenting question: “And, 4 yo, what is Easter about?”
He responds. “It’s when the Easter bunny puts eggs full of candy to your basket when you are not looking!” (Which, coincidentally, is EXACTLY what happened in his preschool class days before… I guess I know what sticks. Oye.)
It was like the wind got knocked out of me…
Whaaaat!?! What just HAPPENED?
How does my youngest not know what we all know, deeply believe, feel with conviction? Has he just not been listening this whole time, or have I not been teaching him!?
Omg I haven’t been teaching him!
Parenting. FAIL.
Of course at this point, I’m panicking. It’s the only logical thing to do right!?
But after a decent amount of panicking does nothing, I move into fix it mode. The long diatribe and quick notes version of Easter for toddlers begins pouring out of my mouth. Immediately, I loose the attention of my three totally nonplussed boys.
But I’m definitely not nonplussed. In fact, I’m the very opposite.. very plussed.
So I move on to quizzing my older two (partly to teach the younger one and also partly to prove to myself that I’ve only failed 1/3 of my offspring). They know it, and before long, THEY begin quizzing my youngest. By the end of the drive, we’ve covered the basics.
Phew. I can give them an Easter egg hunt with all the jelly beans and coins… The basket with the chocolate bunny… And the fun little super hero toys. Without guilt.
Can’t I?
The conviction…
By Friday morning I’ve decided that no, no I can’t. Easter is 48 hours away and I can’t let go of the conviction that there has to be something Jesus-y in the Easter basket from Mommy and Daddy if I am to communicate the real focus of Easter. Even if it’s a sticker book (*spoiler* it was). If I say the focus is Jesus, and all I’ve spent time gathering for him is candy… the message is not going to get received this year… I’ve already witnessed how distracting candy is, remember? I feel certain of it. Even though I know they’re going to get a heavy dose of Easter theology from us in general, church and from our extended family traditions later, I’m the parent, and this is my responsibility, right!?
Anyway, the point is… we’ve all been there. Doing life, doing the things, but when you look up, suddenly realizing that you’ve been traveling down the red path for a WHILE… and all this time the blue path is where you wanted to be. Just me?
The good news is two fold: #1. There is grace. This is life, this is parenting, and nobody has died (Except, of course, Jesus) #2. There are ways to backtrack, or cut through the proverbial woods and get back to the trail you WANTED to be hiking in the first place.
So, if you’re like me, and realized that your “awesome” parenting job is actually totally lacking today… breathe.
And an important side note: my point isn’t to condemn Easter baskets full of candy, or Easter egg hunts (they are the BEST!). I just know myself; and I have so little energy for extra things these days. So if I’m going to spend time communicating a message to my kids, it’s got to be the main and the plain. I can’t go Pinterest-y cute 100% of the time (only when its fun people, only when it’s fun and life giving). If I do I’ll run out of energy to communicate well, and we’ll all get a little confused and lost in the blabber…
So, Jesus. He died and he rose and he loves us and that is the message I want to communicate to my boys on Easter.
The solution…
In my Good Friday morning panic, I went where every other self-respecting procrastinator goes,… Amazon. I grabbed three different resources for each boy and hoped for the best.
Miraculously, they are the best. There are so many more good resources out there, I know. But I’m so pleased with what I ended up with, and how well they fit my kids in this specific season of life, that I thought them worth a share.
Here they are.
#1. A fun and easy sticker book to do with my short attention span, super physical 4 yo. Since this kind of activity book requires the help of a parent, it can create a good space for quality time and conversations about the Bible stories it covers… or about how to reassemble ripped stickers (you pick).
#2. A book about seeing Jesus in unexpected places for my contemplative, question asking 6 yo. This was a simple, engaging story that got away from some of the more legalistic theological questions this 6 yo has been asking… God is everywhere, you just have to learn how to recognize him… and then do it yourself too!
#3. A devotional for my 9 yo that focuses on the God-science connection, and the wonder of His good creation. A little more meaty and engaging for him as he begins to need more than just bible stories, and process his faith at a personal level. Louie Giglio is the pastor of Passion City Church in Atlanta, GA, and founder of the Passion movement.
So how about you… Any recs from your personal collection? Need to commiserate on a parenting fail? Reach out and comment below, I would love to hear!